The Problem with Duck Tales

Duck Tales is great, but it has a huge design flaw that proves glaringly obvious after years of absence--the pogo mechanic. 

Before I get any further, I want my games to be tough as coffin nails, but I also want some standard of living: customizable controls, decent options, good hitboxes, etc. Duck Tales offers none of this. At the other end of the spectrum we have Super Meat Boy, an amazing game with incredible difficulty, but extreme care taken to ensure that the experience (often called "quality of life" in a game, is extremely high). In Duck Tales, the hit boxes are far too large for most things, but even this can be worked around. I'll leave the hit boxes alone for now, and get back to the point.

There is no reason to have to press down on the D-pad to activate the pogo stick. You only have to do this on the first bounce, then you can just hold B. This causes problems when you are pressing diagonal-down and the pogo stick disappears at the last minute causing you to take a hit. The only thing this does is make the game worse, if you think this adds challenge or difficulty...not sure what to say. They could have used controls similar to Castle of Illusion, just hit B in the air to start the pogo. Instead they copied Commander Keen, and the game is worse for it.

If B actually did something in the air, I could see the need to press down. But it doesn't. If B made you run, like in Super Mario, then this would make sense. But it doesn't. Again, you have to press an extra button for no reason.

I like my difficulty to come from level design, insane challenges, and precision timing. Not much of that here.

This problem is easily fixable if playing on a PC emulator, but it is a little complicated. You have to map the down arrow on your keyboard to the down arrow for your emulator, then, using Joy 2 Key assign both the down arrow on your d-pad and the B button to also activate the down arrow on the keyboard. If you did it correctly, you should be able to bounce without ever pressing down on the d-pad. This isn't without one small change: if your pogo stick misses a ledge, but only slightly, Scrooge will stick to the ledge and be ducking down. Not a huge deal.

Before you say this is cheating, just be aware that in the speedrunning/highscore community choice of controller, monitor, button mapping, control configs, etc. are all perfectly legal and fine. I consider this customizing the controls, but you might not. If you like how the game is now, then by all means, just ignore this topic. If you've ever been frustrated at the pogo stick disappearing milliseconds before you make contact with thr ground, however, then you might want to try out this trick. 

If you don't like this setup, however, this is another option if you have some trigger buttons. It's much easier to activate the pogo if you map the right trigger to down as well. Now you can't say there is an advantage in mapping two buttons to the same button, and you are firmly in the realm of customizing the controls. The major downside is, of course, having to play on an emulator and not being able to use your cartridge.

It appears that the creators of the remastered version also agree with me, by the way, as it appears you do not have to press down in the new version to activate the pogo stick. 

In the end, Duck Tales is still an amazing game.

Wolfenstein 3D Review, Resources, and DOS vs GBA Comparison

Holy crap look at that dude kick the shit out of those Nazis. He doesn't even need the goddamned machine gun. He's just firing it because he's angry.

Released in 1992, Apogee's (Commander Keen and Jill of the Jungle, later they would become ID software) Wolfenstein 3D was the first first person shooter worth playing. Some early examples like Battlezone might prove to be exceptions, but Wolfenstein 3D and Doom really set the standards of quality for the genre. The music is subtle yet tense, the graphics are realistic for the time, and all the sprites and artwork feel polished, even if enjoyably dated.

Wolfenstein 3D was banned in Germany, and subsequently developed a large cult following among German teenagers because of its restricted status. It's a little harder (impossible) for countries to ban old software for censorship reasons now.

Anyone who grew up in the 90s probably knows this game; it was everywhere. Everyone had this game on PC. Your friend probably gave you a copy on 4 (holy hell) floppies.

Despite the marketable title, it's technically not 3D, but uses a 2D map and "ray-casting" to create a 3D environment similar to the old Windows Maze screensaver. It doesn't get much better than this (unless, of course, you happen to be playing DOOM, but I'll save that review for later).

Originally released as Shareware, the first 10 levels were free, but the next 50 would cost you. Despite this, the game was heavily circulated on BBSes and the early internet. The source code was released in 1995, like many of ID's other games.

You play William Joseph Blazkowicz and you're captured in a Nazi castle. It's going to be a serious pain in the ass to escape. You'll have to defeat zombies, ghosts, nazis, giant Germans, and Hitler himself to escape.

This game is brutally difficult on the default setting. The mazes are disorienting, the damage is hefty, and enemies abound. You'll need to develop your mental mapping skills because you won't have access to any sort of map. Even using an online map will prove somewhat confusing.

The flaws only increase the appeal of the game. The environments are repetitive, but so what? Isn't everything to some degree? Wolfenstein 3D provides a legitimately tense adrenaline rush, and that's just not something you can get from most FPSs these days.

Each level is pretty long, taking an experienced player around 7 minutes to clear, and around 15 (or longer) for a first timer. You can save your game, but you are only provided with a limited number of lives in the beginning. The game is, as mentioned, divided in 6 episodes of 10 levels each, which adds up to hours actions.

Like a lot of things discusses here, you'll of course need DOSBox, a DOS emulator for Windows and Linux. Mac users don't despair, a Macintosh port exists, as well as a PS3, Apple IIGS, Acorn Archimedes, Super NES, Atari Jaguar, Amiga 1200, Game Boy Advance, iPhone, 3DO, Nintendo Wii, and Steam versions. Many versions are censored or altered, so research a version before purchasing.

I have, however, played the GBA version and it is excellent. Wolfenstein 3D fits perfectly on the system, even if the people are somewhat pixelated the controls are smooth and if you find this game cheap, consider it a steal. You could, naturally, take the less-legit route and play the game in VBACE (the only GBA emulator I can recommend, it's light years faster than regular VBA). And google search to coolroms or emuparidise or something for the rom.

You can download the full version of Wolfenstein 3D here. This link'll do for now, I'll upload it to the Postmodern Software download page soon-ish so there can be a permanent link on the page.

One final important consideration: the controls for the windows version are terrible. If you have a gamepad for your PC (why don't you! You can buy a PS1/PS2 to USB for 7 bucks on eBay!) you can use the fantastic, free Joy2Key application to easily map the controls onto ANY gamepad.

If you even hope to make it through the game these days, you'll probably want to start decoding the maps. I'm not sure I understand how to read them, but it should be pretty easy. I just didn't see a map key anywhere but maybe I'm overlooking it. Even if there isn't a key, printing out the first level and decoding it myself would clearly be possible.

If you only print out 10 pages a day no one will notice at work. You can have a really nice Wolfenstein 3D strategy guide. Color printers are a huge plus. If you could get color copies for 15 cents a piece (I doubt it), creating a guide at FedEx would cost $9.00. GameFAQs, of course, has a collection of Wolfenstein 3D guides if you want to be confused by the level AND someone else.

Finally, Wolfenstein 3D serves as a major inspiration on the less-revolutionary, yet-still-more-fun 8bit Killer, a free indie game created by Locomalito. I reviewd the game a long time ago, and a download link has been in the sidebar for years, so you've probably already heard all about it. If you haven't yet played Wolfenstein 3D, you'll immediately notice similarities between level 1-1 and 1-2 and the free-roaming levels in 8bit Killer.





Screenshots from the DOS version. For GBA comparison squint eyes.