Best Ever Mirror's Edge Review

The image says it all.

HOTLINE MIAMI REVIEW

Gangsters are splattered across a disco floor, the DJ is bumping to the limit, and you've just knifed 3 fucks in the face. You're playing Hotline Miami.

Normally in a review, I'd talk about all the different aspects of the bla bla bla, but holy shit this game is awesome. You can see the neon screenshots in this post, but you can't see the colors fade in and out of every color of the rainbow and a few that are too beautiful to even describe in words but that will surely bring tears of joy to your ugly face.

If this game is making me hostile, then "fuck you" who cares. Pa-pow! You'll go crazy too because of how crazy awesome this shit is.

I saw someone playing this game on twitch yesterday. Immediately I downloaded it from GOG.com, but I could have got it on Steam. If it ever goes on sale on Steam I'll buy it there too just for the Steam achievements and to show everyone that I'm playing 400 additional hours of it.

It's $9.99 on any platform, and well worth every penny. Actually, if you are a Playstation Plus subscriber, you might already have free access to it. I know a friend of mine does, and when I'm done with this "review" I'm going to send him belligerent text messages about it. Not that it's very usful information, but it is perhaps interesting: the game was developed with Game Maker and the Phyre Engine, tools that are pretty easy to get your hands on. Game Maker is only 50 bucks, and you could publish a Steam game with it.

The world of indie video games has obviously entered a Renaissance. Hotline Miami and the masterpieces of our era, but it all started with Cave Story.

But fuck Cave Story we are talking about slaughtering Russian gangsters in 1989 Miami, and it's never been as cool. In terms of storytelling, most gamers will tell you they don't understand it. Well fuck those people, use your brain and it's not hard. Obviously there is a little room for interpretation, but the sequel (Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number) should shed even more light on the drug-fueled adventures of the dude in the Jacket.

Hotline Miami owes a lot to Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, and that's a good thing. I've seen a lot of GTA-bashing surrounding this game, but that's all horse shit. Maybe GTA stories are too serious, but Vice City wasn't fucking serious at all. It was just scarface, the wackier, cooler video game.

Hotline Miami is more like a David Cronenberg film than a Brian DePalma; it's dark, it's smart, it's a mindfuck and roller coaster ride. You can't afford not to play Hotline Miami.

Samurai Ghost Turbo Grafx-16 Review and Screenshot Gallery

I'm so sick of all the other games on the TG-16 that I've resorted to playing Samurai Ghost. That's not a very good start. Do over.

You play the hallucinogenic ghost of a samurai sent on a mission of death. In the opening sequence, the player runs to the right, and slashes the head off some holy dragon. The blood sacrifice teleports the Samurai from heaven into a dimension on the outskirts of hell. From their the player has to battle demons into the real world and assassinate some other samurai.

You have nifty control over your sword, and your warrior has a "ragdoll" feel. Your sword kind of flails around, and all your limbs are animated separately. At first this might seem off-putting, but honestly it's really fluid and I've grown to appreciate the feel of the game because its unique and offers a lot of swordfighting moves.



Everything was going fine until level 2-2, a Volcanic level in which lava chases the player. Standardard gaming device, except this lava is almost as fast as the player and the slightest misstep will allow the lava to damage the player. As you try to run away from this wall of death, the game spawns skull-spider demons which shoot webs and entangle your feet. This level will test every ounce of platforming strength and endurance in the player. Luckily this game is fun enough to warrant the difficulty, and the difficulty helps to make it worth playing.

The players receives unlimited continues, and 3 lives per credit, but using a continue will warp the player back to the beginning of the 3-part stage.

Once I tackled the lava stage, things went a little smoother, but the difficulty remained intense. Several times I was forced to replay the first 6 stages. Getting a Game Over after that usually means it's time to play something else, but Samurai Ghosts does possess the much-desired addictive quality of some games. Almost inexplicably, I find myself returning for more action when I could be playing "better" games.

One particularly cool effect is that the background color shifts and transitions form night to day or vice-versa. You can even see the moon rising or setting, and attention to detail like that doesn't go unnoticed. Ultimately, the game is just too fucking hard. Your character is huge, clunky, and slow, and the enemies are small, fast, and agile. It's so hard, even abusing savestates is difficult. For example, in "Hurting Zone" (wtf I know) the regular trash mob is a frog that drains all of your health in--not kidding--about 1 second.

Thankfully the stages aren't that long, and sometimes you might manage to hobble through to the end. It's one of the best platformers on the Wii VC, and certainly it's worth 6 bucks. However, if you haven't played some other classics like New Adventure Island or The Dynastic Hero, then maybe Samurai Ghosts isn't for you--yet. One day you'll be bored with Bonk and look to this malnourished Thundercat for some hardcore platforming action.

Check out this gallery of screenshots!

Praise for Mutant Warzone

The Wizard of Vestron reviews Mutant Warzone, stating:

"Now THIS is what gaming is all about."

"Put Mutant Warzone on fast mode and see if your not shitting your pants within 30 seconds as you become surrounded by the mutated living dead."

Go read the full review now!

Also, download Mutant Warzone!

Great review Wiz!