Saturday, December 13, 2014

Ocarina of Time Party of Five

Four party people and myself are taking the day off and playing through Ocarina of Time. Check out the live show of epic proportions. The resolution might be small (320x240!) and the sound quality only half of an illegal mp3 from 1997, but the fun factor is out of control!

Check it out live on

Or you can scroll down a few posts and watch the embedded player on the blog. Either way, it's sure to be wacky with a side of beer. Maybe we find the triforce? Never know. 

Most of the ppl talking are not me, I swear.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Best Ever Mirror's Edge Review

The image says it all.

Tomb Raider LIVE

Lara Craft might have huge boobs and a well-toned ass, but her games are good too! Actually, they are even better than her peppermint creams; like a Zelda game on crack, these puzzles just don't stop. Plenty of games had busty babes on the cover, and most didn't become cultural phenomenons (see: Lester the Unlikely, Wargasm

It's one of the greatest 3-D adventures of all time, and the original 3 games represent some of the bet the '90s had to offer. 

Tomb Raider Gold was the very first CD-ROM game I ever bought with my own money. I played the hell out of that game, for years. It was an amazing game. But it has been about a decade, and what if my memory is contaminated with nostalgia? I am revisiting my past and re-completing this game live on twitch. The current plan is to play through the first three entries and the new (2013) prequel. 

Having seen footage of the new game on twitch, it is certainly different, but still seemed admittedly epic. Nothing, however, can quite capture the sense of space that the early TR games have. You explore gigantic areas, performing life-and-death jumps over deadly falls in every single level. You will get a real sense of exploration and isolation as you adventure through the many ruins and temple.

Finally, you'll some great CGI cutscenes that show Lara kicking ass. It's another thing that people might forget; that the character in the games is a total badass and does all manner of superhuman crazy shit.  

If you want to talk about objectification of women in video games, you'll have no shortage of material; but I don't think Lara really gets as much credit as she deserves. She is feminine without being a stereotypical "girly-girl" (pink guns?). There are (at least in the early games...) no stupid romance plots. She's not a "nice" person; she's tough. In an opening cutscene, her guide dies. She doesn't cry. She barely gives a shit, like an '80s action hero.

Her body has only gotta more realistic with time, and I honestly think that some of the earlier cartoon look was just stylized art to compensate for the technology. Early Lara looks more like the people in Toy Story (or an anime character, i.e. FFVII) than as a realistic representation of a person. The "2013 model" looks freakishly realistic and much better proportioned. Her waist and shoulders finally look the way a person looks, and not like a photoshopped supermodel.

I'll admit to ignoring the franchise for years after seeing all the movies. The movies weren't even bad, just sort of bland in the end. I just assumed that the games wouldn't be any good, but this was an assumption based upon franchises in general. With so many iterations, I'm sure there are some problems, but I'm looking forward to seeing what I've missed so far. The "reboot" sequel is supposed to be incoming next year.

Watch me play the game live on, or watch in the feed below.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Playing Resident Evil 2

I've played (beat) through Resident Evil and Silent Hill for the first time this week, and I find myself wondering why I never played any of these games before. The only answer that makes any sense is so I could play them right now. Both games were intense and amazing (don't let my Silent Hill review fool you). I plan on playing at least the first 3 games in both franchises, but I don't know if some of the later Resident Evils and Silent Hills look that interesting. I'm not really into games much recently. Hitting that X button gets old.

But for now, the epic saga continues with Resident Evil 2, watch it on

The broadcast will go live as soon as I post this, and last a few hours. 

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Silent Hill Gives the Fun Kind of Nightmare

That is to say, the kind of nightmare in which unspeakable horrors attack with butcher knives and not the kind of nightmare in which your teeth fall out during a business meeting.

The puzzles are rather cryptic, and although you do feel accomplished when you complete them, the game isn't really designed to be fair. This isn't a good thing. Almost every puzzle I've encountered so far has only been difficult by exploiting the fact that monsters respawn every time you go through a door. The school I am exploring has about 30 rooms connected via hallways, with the idea being that I will explore around until I find something. The respawning monsters "feature" isn't fun, or challenging, or anything really (except lazy). Resident Evil had both respawing and non-respawning enemies, and in every case the respawning enemies were a cheap, unbelievable mechanic. In that game (RE), it's not surprising that the later (rushed?) levels use this sort of mechanic, while the first 5 hours (professional review time required?) are perfectly crafted and require no respawning monsters because every encounter was interesting and unique (dog through the window, shit!).

Just let the fucking monster stay dead when I kill it. Your character sucks at everything except saving the game (bot not, apparently, his family). A child could swing the pipe (basic melee weapon of choice) with more competence.  The missing daughter isn't missing, she's just 100x better at killing demons than her crippled father. She already beat the game, and you are just really slow. I understand that the player isn't supposed to be a combat-veteran, but it doesn't take Rambo to swing a blunt instrument with a little speed. T-Ballers would undoubtedly fair better in Silent Hill. You will swing the pipe so slowly, that in real life you would not even do damage to an organism.

Performing the finishing move sucks as well. Monsters stay on the ground a painfully long time, and your character doesn't like to stomp them unless positioned in an arbitrary and subtle way. All this, and you then pop into a storage room to check it out. Nothing. Back outside, the monster grabs your leg and starts gnawing at your knee. This is the standard Silent Hill experience.

I'm not being too harsh on the game (and it is a fun game), but these are some problems with the controls. Especially after playing Resident Evil this past week, in which the difficult controls add to the challenge and fun, in Silent Hill it becomes a weakness. I'm not asking for an easy game, I'm just asking for better gameplay. One idea that comes to mind would be giving the character a kick move that would knock enemies back, but leave them unharmed. Something like this would be perfect.

I will probably power through the game. Despite the shitty cheapness, I still like overcoming a challenge. The creepypasta splattered around 3-D rural Japan is excellent, and the shitty combat is fun as long as you aren't forced to refight some respawning monster 6 times ("I already DID this, let me do SOMETHING ELSE!"). Also the pistol sucks because monsters have invincibility frames after being shot, and they still walk toward you.

Areas are either foggy or light/dark. The light/dark areas are amazing, filled with high contrast camera angles that any film nerd will love. The fog, however, is too grey to look good.

This sounds like I hate Silent Hill, and I really don't. I was hoping for something that topped Resident Evil. It doesn't. But one can't just compare every game to Resident Evil; that's not really fair. As far as being scared, or isolated, or w/e in the game, I can't really say. I think it is fun to be "scared" and so I don't actually get scared of movies or games or rollercoasters. Silent Hill is a fun game. It will probably give you the fun kind of nightmares.

UPDATE; I started using the pistol more and it's much better.

Monday, December 8, 2014

New Wave Retro Equinox EP

This is a free album published by New Retro wave. If you ever wanted to listen to noir techno, then this is the first and last place you need to go.

I started listening to this stuff because of the music from Hotline Miami features several artists in the genre. The labels are whatever your want: sometimes called synthcore, new wave (that is, without any other distinction), synth, noir, edm, '80score, etc. It's basically all of these things. It uses synthesizers. It sounds '80s and dark. Tons of artists are publishing free albums on youtube. It's all new.

This EP, Equinox, makes the perfect background music for playing the original Silent Hill. Instead of a freaky game I have a freaky '80s game in 3D. You cannot argue with that.

Listen to the new Equainox EP

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Lizard Banner

I know many readers are not actually visiting the website so they won't see this crazy banner. Check out 8-Bit City on your phone, but check the real deal sometimes too!

Thanks for reading, as always! I started the site with the intention of reviewing games that needed more attention. Five years later, I'm glad to do other stuff too, even if that means less interest in the site overall. Maybe I just want to explore the connection between video games and art without being a pretentious snob. Feelings and emotions don't make something artistic. 

Feelings and emotions are boring, and boring isn't good art. Art is strange and prompts the individual to think in new ways. 

But generally, I think, people are too closed-minded to really think about art and adding video games to the equation only further complicates the problem. Your typical "art game" looks like a painting no matter how you move the camera, and while that's fine, that's not all art can be. Games like Dwarf Fortress and Minecraft prompt real problem solving and creativity in the mind of the user. That's infinitely more interesting than a pretty commercial and orchestral soundtrack.

Yet the same individual who will appreciate say, the beauty of a Skyrim field, will probably be quick to denounce a De Kooning painting as trash.

So my real argument here is that the cultural difficulty facing video games is not about video games at all, but about all art in general. Humans prefer easy art that is quick to process and that which does not upset our understanding of the world (including our definition of what art is and can be). Humans, in this aspect, are much like apes for whom any change is always met with frustration and anger.

It's been years since critics could accept "pretty"/"beautiful"/"moving"/"serious"/"emotional" games as art. Society still needs to confront the artistic illiteracy enshrined at its core, and shed its limited capabilities based upon highly conservative definitions of art. How to do this? It'll probably have something to do with the internet.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Final Fantasy VII

Join me on the adventure of a generation, and we will play through one of the greatest games ever made. 

Cloud Strife, a SOLDIER with a troubled past must heal the planet, and his own fractured psyche, in order to achieve victory. 

In 1997, I wanted nothing more than this game. I didn't have a PlayStation, but my family had just purchased a new PC that could actually run the insane 3d. The machine was shared by all four members of my family, so I had to negotiate playtime (also I was 12). Late at night, I would sneak down the dark corridor through the center of the house, and into the computer room. With everyone sleeping, I would mute the speakers in preparation of the Windows 98 start-up chimes. The monitor remained black until everything was ready, and I would play my game for a few extra hours.

Monday, November 3, 2014

The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth Launch Party

Last Update: 7:11pm

The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth launches in about 18 hours or so. Check back here for the stream when it's actually out.

I've already pre-purchased the game, and I got a discount (-33%) for owning the original Isaac. If you don't have these games, now (right now) is the time to get 'em.

Until tomorrow, I'll be playing Wrath of the Lamb in preparation, as well as Organ Trail: Director's Cut, on

The Isaac games are made by the Super Meat Boy guys (and other people). Random Zelda dungeon, these games are that exactly but better.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Minecraft - Hardcore Difficulty (Gold Rolex)

Playing Minecraft on my favorite mode: hardcore difficulty. If I die, the world is deleted, so this is literally the chance of a lifetime. There is no savescumming, no nothing. World seed is "Gold Rolex," will I be able to build a castle and rule the landscape?

Come check it out on twitch, or watch below.

Monday, August 25, 2014


I watched the documentary "GET LAMP" last night and it made me want to play a new Interactive Fiction game. I've played a good deal of Adventure, but never really got into Zork. Today that changes.

I already have two pages of maps and the world is starting to come together. The entire game will be streaming on twitch, so check it out.

Right now I've managed to get into this little murder shack in the woods and now I'm stealing stuff and hopefully getting into more trouble.

Again, I'm mapping it by hand so this is not a quick and easy endeavor.

 A staircase descends into the darkness. Time to go.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Atari Space Invaders

Just got back from a week at the beach. I brought my Flashback 2 with me, and played some Pitfall and Missile Command while recovering from sun, mini-golf, and Gulf Coast fishing. However, the one game I really wanted to play the entire time was Atari Space Invaders. 

I packed my laptop. I packed 3 Atari controllers. I packed the USB-to-Atari dongle. Certainly Stella was already loaded on this computer. It wasn't. Surely the cabin wifi would work. It didn't (and, also, it didn't matter).

Now I'm back and I've already raided Ice Crown Citadel (see: Warld of Worcorft) and I'm going to binge on a few hours of Space Invaders. Check it out on if you're awake.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Unbanned from Twitch

No email or explanation, but at least I have my account back.

The entire episode remains unsettling.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Robot Banned from

I tried to log into Twitch this morning and found out I was banned! They wouldn't tell me why, however, nor was any email sent to me explaining the reason.

A quick search online sees tons of other users getting banned for apparently no reason (likely an automated system is to blame).

I suspect that the cause is that I had been streaming "Big Easy Sleazy" (my game, see post below) and they flagged it as either copyright infringement (because it's footage of a non-finished game) or as non-gaming material (because they don't know what it is).

I've appealed their decision, but I felt like I had to make a post here because I've said a lot of good things about twitch recently, and also streamed some stuff like Crawl, ToME, Dwarf Fortress, GTA3, GTA4, and Need for Speed World. I can't really support Twitch anymore, and I strongly suspect that I'm never going to be unbanned and that I'll never hear back from them. Most others online report that this is almost always the case.

As someone who put a lot of time into developing a small subscriber base (55+ users and over 5k views in a month, thanks!) this is a drag. My time could have been better spent elsewhere. I've read several cases where people subscribed to twitch for the added features, then found their accounts banned with no explanation, no feedback, and no customer support.

This isn't exactly "breaking news" but I'll be fair to twitch. If they send me some response, I'll post it here. If they don't respond in about two weeks, I'll post a follow up. In the meantime: be skeptical of all things

Big Easy Sleazy Preview

This game is called "Big Easy Sleazy" and it's a console-style RPG+Roguelike hybrid. It is set in a fake 1985 New Orleans. An angelic Power has brought you back to life because the city it watches over has become infested with street crime. You gotta grab your baseball bat, chains, broken bottles and crack some teeth.

This post might be haphazard, but what the hell, the game is good. Inspired by Nethack, Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup, River City Ransom, Shenmue, and Persona 4.


You pick a character/profession combo (currently there are 9 characters and 10 starting professions, with plans for even more.)

Character classes are not always your typical fantasy fair...

'80s Guy - Uses guns and sleaze to fight his way through the city. 

Mantis - Giant praying mantis that can not equip most of the awesome gear in the game, but gains insect powers like Acid Spit and Summon Swarm.

Zard 3 - A Pro Wrestler who deals tremendous damage. Suplex and Backbreak your enemies.

Warlock - Wield unholy demon magic.

Doctor - Use nanomachines and drugs to heal your team. Clone dead teammates and bring them back to life.

Necromancer - An undead skeleton who can, in turn, summon even more skeletons to fight his battles.



Currently there are almost 200 unique items in the game, and they can be found in briefcases around the town.

Most briefcases have a 50/50 chance of spawning in any given game -- requires risk vs reward calculations and preventing "perfect" runs.

Collect Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures from Gachopons (capsule machines) in the style of Shenmue!


Roguelike Elements

-Permadeath if your party is wiped out
-Randomized dungeons. But not totally random. You will face similar versions of maps, somewhat similar to Diablo 2. Some maps may only have a few versions, others have over 1024 possible configurations.
-Huge city with at least 100 buildings you can actually enter.
-BRIEFCASES are the Treasure Chests of Big Easy Sleazy, they can all drop any item in the game, with an equal chance of a dropping a lowly soda or the coveted Plate Armor.


Computers and Chemistry

Chemistry sets can be used to perform advance transmutations (i.e. turn a tooth into a skeleton or an eye into a swarm of frogs that will fight by your side). But you have to know chemistry first...

Terminals can be used by a knowledgable hacker to do everything from ordering pizza to downloading disks with permanent stat boosts which can be applied to your team.



Executive - Start with all the cold, hard cash you need. But nothing else.

Psycho - Start with a huge random selection of gear for a unique game.

Chemist - Start with knowledge of advanced transmutations and a chemistry set in your apartment.

Chef - Start with the Couteau and Apron, solid items that almost anyone can equip. Also begin with more food than you can eat and your very own soda machine.

Entomologist - Begin the game with some Mantis and Ant eggs, which you can grow into deadly soldiers.

Also play as a Knight, King, Hacker, Gangster...and more!


7 days to live

You only have 7 days to live in the "Big Easy." If you sleep in a bed to revive a character, you will lose a day. If all days are gone, you lose. If you clean up the city before then, you win.

Some Chemistry transmutations may require an entire day.

If you spend too much time on a computer you might waste a day playing an addicting video game!


You can collect as many heros as you can, but only 4 can fight at once. If your battle party dies, it's game over.

I can't wait to show off more, I'll try to get a video of the current build up sometime soon.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

What could this be?

It's a teaser screenshot.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Need 4 Speed World

Need for Speed World Online is a racing MMORPG. Sounds crazy, I know. It's also a Freemium (pay 2 win) game so it has to suck, right? Well I've played a few races and it seems pretty fucking fun to me. Don't worry about the pay 2 win stuff, I'm going into this game with the intention of never ever spending a cent. However, if it's fun I'll look more closely at the Need for Speed games in the future.

I'm gonna stream it for a while on Twitch if you want to check it out, hey maybe you'll even download it.

If this falls through, I'm going to go back to GTA4 tonight; I only have like 4 missions left in the main storyline.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Grand Theft Auto 4 Stream

Last week I beat Vice City and GTA3 broadcasted on Twitch. Now I'm playing Grand Theft Auto 4, so come check it out.

I'm not even going to get into Grand Theft Auto V right now. If it were on PC, I'd be playing it. 

Doesn't matter, 4 is still a great game and one of my favorites. Great driving, regardless of what people say. The cars have many more hitpoints, and the gun shooting is better than even San Andreas. Not a huge fan of the cover system, but it's useful at times. Doesn't really fit my reckless, yolo style.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Cool Ninja Girl

A drawing of a cool ninja girl.


Gangsters are splattered across a disco floor, the DJ is bumping to the limit, and you've just knifed 3 fucks in the face. You're playing Hotline Miami.

Normally in a review, I'd talk about all the different aspects of the bla bla bla, but holy shit this game is awesome. You can see the neon screenshots in this post, but you can't see the colors fade in and out of every color of the rainbow and a few that are too beautiful to even describe in words but that will surely bring tears of joy to your ugly face.

If this game is making me hostile, then "fuck you" who cares. Pa-pow! You'll go crazy too because of how crazy awesome this shit is.

I saw someone playing this game on twitch yesterday. Immediately I downloaded it from, but I could have got it on Steam. If it ever goes on sale on Steam I'll buy it there too just for the Steam achievements and to show everyone that I'm playing 400 additional hours of it.

It's $9.99 on any platform, and well worth every penny. Actually, if you are a Playstation Plus subscriber, you might already have free access to it. I know a friend of mine does, and when I'm done with this "review" I'm going to send him belligerent text messages about it. Not that it's very usful information, but it is perhaps interesting: the game was developed with Game Maker and the Phyre Engine, tools that are pretty easy to get your hands on. Game Maker is only 50 bucks, and you could publish a Steam game with it.

The world of indie video games has obviously entered a Renaissance. Hotline Miami and the masterpieces of our era, but it all started with Cave Story.

But fuck Cave Story we are talking about slaughtering Russian gangsters in 1989 Miami, and it's never been as cool. In terms of storytelling, most gamers will tell you they don't understand it. Well fuck those people, use your brain and it's not hard. Obviously there is a little room for interpretation, but the sequel (Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number) should shed even more light on the drug-fueled adventures of the dude in the Jacket.

Hotline Miami owes a lot to Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, and that's a good thing. I've seen a lot of GTA-bashing surrounding this game, but that's all horse shit. Maybe GTA stories are too serious, but Vice City wasn't fucking serious at all. It was just scarface, the wackier, cooler video game.

Hotline Miami is more like a David Cronenberg film than a Brian DePalma; it's dark, it's smart, it's a mindfuck and roller coaster ride. You can't afford not to play Hotline Miami.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014


I beat Vice City this morning (after 11 years) but did I slow down? Hell no, I loaded up Grand Theft Auto 3 in glorious 1440x900 resolution and spread out my Playstation 2 maps. This was the third game I bought for my PS2, and to be able to play it in HD with a mouse is amazing.

You know the drill; I'm streaming GTA3 tonight and if you want to check it out come to

Twitch is awesome. You are awesome.

Commando Artwork

A 3-color commando. The unedited original is at the bottom.

I've been doing all my computer artwork in Paint, but I think it is time I downloaded Gimp. That's on my to-do list this week, as well as more drawings. 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Atari Image Gallery

Pitfall, Galaxian, Asteroids, and Breakout. Nothing beats turning off all the lights and playing a few hours of Atari. I'm glad I stopped to make this post because I just remembered I have a USB Atari joystick for exactly this occasion. 

Also this post is an Atari Image Gallery. Some of these are screenshots I took, and others are just artworks I've collected from the web.